What is actual masculinity?

The left is clueless, the right must reject the trolls and grifters

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials."

—Seneca

There’s a loud, confused conversation around masculinity in our culture right now. The normal left flails at it awkwardly, as witnessed by the recent insipid campaign ads featuring men in front of a truck and next to a horse, talking about steak and drinking bourbon (none of this is actual masculinity). The whole ad presents a facade of men, and no real values. The far left outright hates us and wants to ‘cancel men.’ All this while the woke right has increasingly created a caricature of men: performative rage, incel-behavior and trolling championed by those who mistake being an asshole for being strong. Recent articles like the one this week in mainstream media fail to understand masculinity and the problem entirely, going off on strange tangents that illustrate little understanding of men (heroism is very important as one example, we need appropriate leaders to aspire to).

Great men move the world forward at the micro and macro levels. And they’re something society is in desperate need of. Any society that casts away or tries to marginalize healthy masculinity is suicidal.

The caricature of a man being one who sits on the couch watching sports and drinking beer is one which turns us into cattle. We are not meant only for this. It’s no better than being a pet caged in the longhouse. We are meant to build the world, protect it from arsonists and uphold standards. Let’s talk a bit more about this topic today, because I think it’s important.

A man is responsible for what he controls, and he controls more than he thinks. His actions ripple outward through home, work, friendships and community (both online and in the physical world). There is no masculinity without accountability. The false masculine shrugs at failure, blames circumstance, and demands unearned respect. The real man owns his faults, corrects course, and takes responsibility not just for himself, but those in his orbit.

A man does not lie to himself, his family or to the world. Lies corrode the foundation of everything worth building. Honor is the result of living truthfully in the face of pressure. It means speaking what is true even when inconvenient, even when costly. The coward lies for short-term gain, the man of honor tells the truth, because reality is not something to be manipulated or faked, but mastered.

When the world is losing its mind, the real man does not go with it. He stands firm. He does not bow to the mob, whether that mob wears the face of institutional rot or populist frenzy. Morality is not determined by the whims of the day. It is forged in principles that endure. A man who knows who he is and what he stands for cannot be coerced into complicity.

Real men make jokes and engage in rough play. But when it comes to legitimately important affairs, they stand up to the exploitation of others. They work to create the most fair games and systems possible. They also will not let their empathy be hacked and used against them nefariously by others. They understand the sin of moral equivalence.

There are moments when doing what is right is not popular. A man who understands history knows this. A leader, whether of a family, a business, or a nation, must be able to separate transient outrage from permanent consequence. He must be able to act decisively in ways that benefit not just the present, but generations to come.

A man’s body is a tool, and a well-maintained tool does its job better. He is active, fit, takes care of himself, doesn’t eat slop. Strength is not just about aesthetics, it’s about capacity. The capacity to protect, to endure, to lead. Likewise, a man’s family is his first and most sacred responsibility. A man provides not just financially, but emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. He is a source of stability in an unstable world.

Real men are lifelong learners, always seeking to expand their knowledge, skills, and understanding of the world. They're not content with stagnation and constantly push themselves to be better today than they were yesterday.

Men should be wary of propaganda in the media, from globalists and NGOs, ask lots of questions and do their own research. They should view things from first principles and a core morality stemming from a mix of religion, classical philosophy and ideas and concepts which built western civilization. They should live lindy. They should be weary of cults and postmodern concepts that try and burn the past. They shouldn’t be anxious or nihilistic.

Women are not weak. But men are strong for a reason. This is not about condescension or control, it’s about duty. A man who does not protect women: whether his wife, his daughter, or even a stranger in need is not a man. Protection does not mean domination or allowing someone to exploit him. It means creating the conditions where those weaker, who are not quietly serpents in waiting, can thrive without fear.

A world without masculine virtue devolves into disorder. Weak men breed chaos, because they lack the discipline to hold the center. Strong men maintain civilization not through oppression, but through the quiet, daily enforcement of reality. A society without real men is a society unmoored, endlessly reacting to every passing hysteria. A society of weak men breeds beaurocracy and grifting, where extractive elements and rent seeking stack up. Strong men work to undo this.

Real men are not cell phone addicts. They are present while out with others. They detox from technology regularly to connect with themselves and nature. They live in balance with work, family and recreation. They don’t have FOMO, aren’t gambling degens and understand comparison is a thief of joy. They’re present.

Art is the soul of civilization, and men have always been among its greatest creators and defenders. There is nothing masculine about nihilism, degradation, putting obscene works on display or tearing down the past. The man who abdicates his role in shaping culture allows rot to fester. A true man builds whether through literature, music, architecture, or innovation. He does not allow civilization to descend into an aimless, vapid mess of cheap distractions and moral emptiness. He does not outsource his aesthetic to algos or the crowd. He doesn’t care what wins awards. He disdains spectacle. He views status as actions not consumption.

Real masculinity is forged in community. Men sharpen men. Strong friendships, strong alliances, strong neighborhoods, these are the marks of a man who understands that strength is not solitary but shared. A man builds not just for himself but for those around him. Even if he makes a living through ideas and stories, he also volunteers time to mentor others (1:1 and at scale) to move the world in a better direction.

Only when someone passes through the addict and debauchery phase of life can they be considered a man. Until then, they are still a boy, their base impulses running the show vs following a strategic plan. Also, the first step of being a real man is admitting the problem and asking for help. This illustrates actual strength.

Skill matters. The work a man does whether with his hands, his mind, or his spirit, should be excellent. He should have a craft. And he should be judged by that work, not his identity, his grievances, or his ability to exploit the system. A world where merit is ignored is a world that spirals into mediocrity. A man takes pride in his work and respects those who excel in theirs. Real men will also not let their skills atrophy at the hands of AI.

Strong men do not wish to die clinging to power or hoarding wealth like a dragon. They should lift up and nurture the next generation. They should plant trees and pass the torch. They should invest in their own family.

Every man has a dark side, an inner force capable of destruction, rage, and selfishness. This is the ‘shadow self.’ Weak men deny it exists and let it consume them. A strong man acknowledges it, understands it and tames it. He does not let his darker instincts rule him, but he also doesn’t pretend they aren’t there. True masculinity is about harnessing that power for good: channeling aggression into discipline, passion into purpose, and strength into protection rather than destruction.

Masculinity is the cultivated strength to bear the weight of reality. It is responsibility embraced, truth upheld, civilization stewarded, systems built. And when done right, it’s one of the greatest forces for good the world has ever known. Without strong men with unshakable morals, the world descends into madness.